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The Bible said, "let there be light", and along came Marshall Mann. Perhaps that's slightly sacrilicious, but I'm watching Big Brother, what do you expect?
Yes kids, it's My Name Is Marshall time, now with 100% more slings and his overall awesomeness/sexual prowess/love for boobs/pie/etc. Oh, and noir-esque lighting.
Some may say my love for certain men runs into the realms of inappropriateness. Or I seem to have very odd fetishes.
That's why I liked Sir Weller. See, he was kind of fine for a while there. Cute faces and shit, with a pair of tight, tight jeans, but everything was fine and dandy in Pieces' Libido Land.
Then? It all clicked.
Shoulders? Check.
Long piano fingers and fine, fine hands? Check.
Legs for dayswith inappropriate bunching in the middle and well-cut wardrobe choices? Check.
...
I'm pretty sure this is one of those moments where you have a tirade in the middle of a shopping centre and then you stop to breathe and notice everyone in the store is staring at you so you just slink out and run to the car.
Exactly.
So this week on everyone's second favourite summer show you're only watching because there's nothing else on, Marshall continued to be awesome.
He's stylin' with a sling, y'all, and Tim Gunn knows this shit works. Mary's got her boobs out, so I'm actually beginning to suspect that it isn't as ODD and OUT OF CHARACTER as we were previously lead to believe.
He impresses the universe and inadvertently breaks open the case later with his amazing knowledge of wood. "Don't," he says to Mary, and we all go "LOLOLOLOL wood *leer*"
During his cottonwood tirade (not dissimilar to mine about him see: above), he pulls some adorable faces.
Adorable. ADORABLE.
..and Mares totally appreciates him for the big wood nerd he his. "Wood, LOLOOLLOLOL *leer*"
Of course, you'd be drunk or high or stupid or a fan of Katy Perry's diverse musical talent not to appreciate a man who not only likes you to eat pie, but practically forces it down your throat.
"LOLOLOL DOWN THROAT *leer*" ...who keeps saying these sexually suggestive things?
I KNEW IT WAS YOU, BADLY DRESSED LADY DEVIL!
No doubt it was also Badly Dressed Lady Devil who lead Mary, myself,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
firthgal and most of the female population of the universe to start thinkin' in tune with "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince.
She picked up the phone/Dropped it on the floor/(Sex, sex) is all I heard
OH NO LET'S GO! LET'S GO CRAZY See, Badly Dressed Lady Devil's making even Mary horny for cottonwood. *leer*
Lucky for her, BDLD and us, Marshall continues to make these forty minutes of our life a big ol' perve fest, and really, we're grateful.
Really grateful.
The Pornstache approves of those smooth, 1990s grooves.
I'm sure there's a plot here, but I forgot it. Let's look at other reasons why Marshall is THE GREATEST PARTNER WHO EVER PARTNERED.
He knocks on the door with his foot!
He struts like a mad bitch who's sugar daddy di'n't get her a Tiffany bracelet!
He doesn't look away when Lovely Offerings are offered!
(...okay, there's something stupidly hot here, and I have no idea what or why. I blame you, Badly Dressed Lady Devil. Damn you! Damn you and your crushed velvet dress!)
And, most of all? He's a sweet, caring, generous fella who'll help you transition from allergy suffering trollop to martini-holding "better person" in a couple of easy steps. Look at his little gumboots. Bless.
Did I mention he rocks The Pornstache? Ron Jeremy called, he's jealous of your underpants, dude.
And a goodnight to you, kind sir!
Moral of the story: NEVER listen to women in devil costumes.
(And, as usual,firthgal has provided us with a (slightly) un-bias recap of this episode, sans Prince and other bad puns.)
Yes kids, it's My Name Is Marshall time, now with 100% more slings and his overall awesomeness/sexual prowess/love for boobs/pie/etc. Oh, and noir-esque lighting.
Some may say my love for certain men runs into the realms of inappropriateness. Or I seem to have very odd fetishes.
That's why I liked Sir Weller. See, he was kind of fine for a while there. Cute faces and shit, with a pair of tight, tight jeans, but everything was fine and dandy in Pieces' Libido Land.
Then? It all clicked.
Shoulders? Check.
Long piano fingers and fine, fine hands? Check.
Legs for days
FUCK YOU WELLER. IT'S THE RAKE FOR YOU. THE MUTHAFREAKIN' RAKE, YO.
...
I'm pretty sure this is one of those moments where you have a tirade in the middle of a shopping centre and then you stop to breathe and notice everyone in the store is staring at you so you just slink out and run to the car.
Exactly.
So this week on everyone's second favourite summer show you're only watching because there's nothing else on, Marshall continued to be awesome.
He's stylin' with a sling, y'all, and Tim Gunn knows this shit works. Mary's got her boobs out, so I'm actually beginning to suspect that it isn't as ODD and OUT OF CHARACTER as we were previously lead to believe.
He impresses the universe and inadvertently breaks open the case later with his amazing knowledge of wood. "Don't," he says to Mary, and we all go "LOLOLOLOL wood *leer*"
During his cottonwood tirade (not dissimilar to mine about him see: above), he pulls some adorable faces.
Adorable. ADORABLE.
..and Mares totally appreciates him for the big wood nerd he his. "Wood, LOLOOLLOLOL *leer*"
Of course, you'd be drunk or high or stupid or a fan of Katy Perry's diverse musical talent not to appreciate a man who not only likes you to eat pie, but practically forces it down your throat.
"LOLOLOL DOWN THROAT *leer*" ...who keeps saying these sexually suggestive things?
I KNEW IT WAS YOU, BADLY DRESSED LADY DEVIL!
No doubt it was also Badly Dressed Lady Devil who lead Mary, myself,
firthgal and most of the female population of the universe to start thinkin' in tune with "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince. She picked up the phone/Dropped it on the floor/(Sex, sex) is all I heard
OH NO LET'S GO! LET'S GO CRAZY See, Badly Dressed Lady Devil's making even Mary horny for cottonwood. *leer*
Lucky for her, BDLD and us, Marshall continues to make these forty minutes of our life a big ol' perve fest, and really, we're grateful.
Really grateful.
The Pornstache approves of those smooth, 1990s grooves.
I'm sure there's a plot here, but I forgot it. Let's look at other reasons why Marshall is THE GREATEST PARTNER WHO EVER PARTNERED.
He knocks on the door with his foot!
He struts like a mad bitch who's sugar daddy di'n't get her a Tiffany bracelet!
He doesn't look away when Lovely Offerings are offered!
(...okay, there's something stupidly hot here, and I have no idea what or why. I blame you, Badly Dressed Lady Devil. Damn you! Damn you and your crushed velvet dress!)
And, most of all? He's a sweet, caring, generous fella who'll help you transition from allergy suffering trollop to martini-holding "better person" in a couple of easy steps. Look at his little gumboots. Bless.
Did I mention he rocks The Pornstache? Ron Jeremy called, he's jealous of your underpants, dude.
And a goodnight to you, kind sir!
Moral of the story: NEVER listen to women in devil costumes.
(And, as usual,
firthgal has provided us with a (slightly) un-bias recap of this episode, sans Prince and other bad puns.)
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"Wake up, Senor Peter! Who dee-d thees!"
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also, where is my baffleck picture of lol?
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I'm making an icon of this one.
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"SENOR PEEEETTTERRRRR!!!! WHHHHHHYYYYYYY!"
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