Looking at my icons this evening, I realised I wanted to write some Joanie. I wish she just didn't end up making me write her so damn sad.

THIRTEEN
"Torn In The Fire"
Deadwood (Joanie Stubbs)

( 'Torn In The Fire' )

Oh, Joanie.

Last week, I was eaten by a large monster with several gapped teeth and large reddish eyes. No joke! No bad excuse!*

_{* this may be a joke and/or bad excuse for being so damn busy.}

ELEVEN
"Written All Before"
Inglourious Basterds (Shosanna Dreyfus & Fredrick Zoller)

( 'Written All Before' )

I shouldn't admit this was written to Mika's new album, should I? MOOD KILLER

This is for my sajee, who may be the only one who understands my need to write fic where Tom Colicchio makes Padma Lakshmi food at all hours of the night.

NINE
"Sourdough"
Top Chef, Tom Colicchio & Padma Lakshmi

( 'Sourdough' )

Plans for tomorrow: a BLT. Thanks, Colicchio.

I had to write it. I just had to!

SEVEN
"Earth To Retail"
RPF (Alexander Skarsgård & piecesofalice)

( 'Earth To Retail' )

Things That Are Out Of Place In This Drabble:

1. ASkars
2. Starbucks
3. Me
4. Neat table of throw rugs
5. Melbourne in general

Drabbles not written: fic where I yell this scene at Alexander Skarsgard. Pity.

FIVE
"Something Like The Right Way"
The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (Tommy Lynley & Barbara Havers)

( 'Something Like The Right Way' )

Remember when Tommy was a hobo? Good times. Good, extremely smelly times.

This was hard, because I actually had more to say than one hundred and fifty words. I might come back and visit this one, me thinks, and give it the proper treatment.

Based on - of all things - the Aerosmith song of the same name. Rawk!

THREE
"Pink"
Life (Charlie Crews/Dani Reese)

( 'Pink' )

Oh, them.

I am also opening the floor for requests-for-drabbles, if you want to leave a comment to inspire me! (Lord knows by Friday I'll be out of ideas and it'll be an all-in orgy with all my partnerz and the cast of High School Musical or something.)

anxietygrrl mentioned over the Twitter Highway how she's attempting thirty drabbles in thirty day. "Hay!" says I, "I need to get back into creative activities! Surely this is the way!"

So here is my testimony (and solidifying it as A Thing, anxietygrrl) - I shall try and write thirty full drabbles (fics under 150 words) in thirty full days. I have two hours a day of Pure Plottin' Time and a million plot bunnies, so shouldn't be so hard, right?

[/Famous Last Words]

ONE
"Hallways"
Criminal Minds/Leverage (Spencer Reid and Parker)

( 'Hallways' )

_{I ship it.}

I MEAN - oh, I know! I give myself five days, tops! *eye dart*

How are you all?

Two things:

1. I should be in bed (well, I am. But you know.)
2. I shouldn't be writing wanky tra-la-la smut about Nickelodeon-owned characters.

Damn you, tweendom_anon for taking any cred I may have had! Damn you to Hell!


TITLE: Water (or, "I could swim the world with you")
FANDOM: iCarly, Future!Sam/Spencer
RATING: NC-17. I guess?
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, that's Nick and Dan Schneider's job.


( Sam doesn't remember liking water as a kid. )

Fun fact: "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner came up on iTunes whilst writing ~teh raunch~. Maybe that's why this resembles a bad eighties porn.

Oblig!

Only I would manage to write wanky prose about iCarly. Oh, Pieces.

TITLE: Skeletons
FANDOM: iCarly, futureriffic Sam/Spencer
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, natch. Dan Schneider's the man, yo.

( The thing about art is that it's completely subjective. )

Note the pulling teeth reference. It's on my mind, y'know?

*walks away, bleeding from the mouth*

So I was attempting to write some fic for the Porn Battle, but due to the heat being the main focus of every Melbournian, including myself, it turned out like this.

TITLE: It's Rilly Hot
FANDOM: Juliet & Lassiter Variety Hour
PROMPT: Juliet/Lassiter, competition

--

It was a fine day in Santa Barbara, in the middle of a stinking hot summer. Two detectives stood around a squad room.


“Hay, Lassiter,” said the perky blonde one.


“Hay, O'Hara,” said the dour handsome one.


“Should we do some shit? Like, be competitive and stuff?” O'Hara asked, fanning herself with a pamphlet for a Chinese take-out place.


Lassiter shrugged, and took off his shirt. “Too hot. Do it tomorrow.”


“Well,” she replied, in that lazy way you do when you're dying from heat exhaustion, “we could always, y'know, do some porn. In a competitive way.”


Somewhere, someone turned on "Summer in the City" and Richard Beltzer walked past. "Hay," he said.


"Hay," replied everyone.


Then Shawn walked past and was generally annoying. Gus stood beside him and looked awesome, then dragged Shawn away, past Vick who was being underused in her office.


“My cat's breath smells like cat food,” said Buzz from nowhere.


“Awesome,” said That Dude from L.A. Law, who was trying to fish in the police issue fish tank, but the water was boiling from the sun coming through the window. "Who wants boiled guppy?"


“What?” shouted Lassiter, who woke up from a heat nap. Juliet ate an icey pole, and sighed.


“Lassiter. Porn. For the porn battle. Do you want to, like, get in my pants and stuff?”


“Well, we should probably be cute and competitive and...” Lassiter trailed off because the forty degree heat sapped his energy, and he laid on his desk. His partner joined him, sucking on the icey pole in a loud and not-phallic-at-all way.


“Is this sexy? Do you want to try?”


“Oh,” Lassiter said, taking Juliet's icey pole. He attempted to eat it seductively, but ended up gobbling it all in a frenzy - making the desk sticky in the process (note: not in the way you think).


“Ew,” Juliet said, scrunching her nose. “Stuff it, it's too freakin' hot.”


“Yeah. True dat.”


And they sat in the squad room and occasionally complained about how hot it was.


THE END.


Awesome! It just went from 43 degrees to 42! YES.