Only I would manage to write wanky prose about iCarly. Oh, Pieces.

TITLE: Skeletons
FANDOM: iCarly, futureriffic Sam/Spencer
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, natch. Dan Schneider's the man, yo.

The thing about art is that it's completely subjective. )

Note the pulling teeth reference. It's on my mind, y'know?

*walks away, bleeding from the mouth*
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I am watching the most amazing movie: Making the Grade, starring Judd Nelson circa 1984. So you know it's unf-ing-ly good.

But then this happened:



(The first part, until about 1:40)

WHY CAN'T ALL MOVIES HAVE JUDD NELSON GROOVIN' DOWN A HALLWAY IN A RED SUIT. WITH A BOOMBOX.

"Learn to love yellow and pink." I may cry with the awesomeness of it all.

ETA: Random Dan Schneider cameo = check.
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piecesofalice: doris day in white (Default)
( Apr. 4th, 2009 06:39 pm)
I'm sorry, I cannot even look at these photos.

They're promos from next week's Life, and I honestly think that if I could emote my feelings regarding them, it would simply be this:



I'm excited! I'm scared! I'm Jesse Spano! I don't want to watch! Why is he in white? OMG WHAT IF HE'S PORNY WITH DANI?! OMG

See the pics here. I'm not looking.

I'M NOT LOOKING OKAY
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Borne of boredom, please to be having some of my favourite film clips.

(Cut for convenience, although I recommend watchin' 'em all)

Hawksley Workman - We Will Still Need A Song )

Rammstein - Ich Will )

Die Ärzte - Unrockbar )

Farin Urlaub - Sumisu )

Beastie Boys - Body Movin' )

Shea Seger - Last Time )

Ima Robot - Lovers in Captivity )

Fettes Brot - Schwule Mädchen )

Scissor Sisters - Laura )

NSYNC - Pop )

The Monkees - Star Collector )

Kylie Minogue - Did It Again )

Franz Ferdinand - Ulysses )

Miranda Cosgrove & Drake  )

There's probably more, but they're the ones on the top of my noggin. I also spared you all my amazing 80s music choices (Warrant and "Cherry Pie", anyone?) and the majority of my pop loves. Lucky.

Let me know which you loved, and tell me your personal faves, Flisty!
My roommates and a lot of my mates are into Battlestar Galactica. I am currently watching Battlestar Galactica. So of course, I have to find the most obscure pairing in the universe and write them before they eat my noggin.

COME ON DOWN, DOCTOR GAIUS BALTAR AND CALLY "WHINGY!" HENDERSON!!

TITLE: Try To Tranquilize
FANDOM: Battlestar Galactica, Gaius Baltar/Cally Henderson
RATING: R, for some ~sexual~ situations
DISCLAIMER: I'm sure someone owns BSG. It ain't moi.
SPOILERS: Set during 2.04, Resistance.

'You *have* to help him.' )


*Wanders away, eating candy*
x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] halfamoon, this is my contribution to said ~celebration~.

Title: For My Girls
Music: "Apply Some Pressure" by Mark Ronson feat. Paul Smith

Fandoms: High School Musical 3, 30 Rock, Life, Leverage, The Fall, Big Apple, In Plain Sight, The Monkees, The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, The Pretender, Earth 2, Send Me No Flowers, Psych, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Blades of Glory, Mad Men, Deadwood, Criminal Minds, Foyle's War, The Simpsons, Around the World in 80 Days, Gosford Park, Calamity Jane. Oh, and Josie & The Flamingoes.

Download from MegaUpload (mp4, 35mb)

Imeem Link

Embedded Vid )

Notes, etc. )

Things for you all to look for:

1. My inappropriate roller derby and Dani fetish (pregnant ladies are hot, y'all)
2. The easter egg Garret cameo
3. The one thing that ain't really fandom.
The Great Michael Bolton once said, "how can we be lovers, if we can't be friends?"

Yes, Psych. How can we?



You'll always be welcome, Om-Face. Don't you worry. )

In other news:



Apparently my roommates don't want to be present when I watch the episode pictured above.
There's this episode, right. In the one season of Earth 2, right. It's called "Water", and it falls pretty near to the beginning of the canon, but just far enough that everyone is firmly established and relationships are beginning to flourish.

When I was a wee lass, I thought this episode was all about water. Sourcing water, drinking water, water as a metaphor for life etc. But now, at the tail-end of my twenties, I realise what this episode is all about.

It's all about sexual frustration. Water = sex.

Trust me. You trust me, right?

Crickets, random cough from guy in audience



Fine. Follow me, for some fine, well-researched picspam, friends. )

In the words of that Great Poet Laureate, Lady Christina Aguilera - dirrrty.
So I was attempting to write some fic for the Porn Battle, but due to the heat being the main focus of every Melbournian, including myself, it turned out like this.

TITLE: It's Rilly Hot
FANDOM: Juliet & Lassiter Variety Hour
PROMPT: Juliet/Lassiter, competition

--

It was a fine day in Santa Barbara, in the middle of a stinking hot summer. Two detectives stood around a squad room.


“Hay, Lassiter,” said the perky blonde one.


“Hay, O'Hara,” said the dour handsome one.


“Should we do some shit? Like, be competitive and stuff?” O'Hara asked, fanning herself with a pamphlet for a Chinese take-out place.


Lassiter shrugged, and took off his shirt. “Too hot. Do it tomorrow.”


“Well,” she replied, in that lazy way you do when you're dying from heat exhaustion, “we could always, y'know, do some porn. In a competitive way.”


Somewhere, someone turned on "Summer in the City" and Richard Beltzer walked past. "Hay," he said.


"Hay," replied everyone.


Then Shawn walked past and was generally annoying. Gus stood beside him and looked awesome, then dragged Shawn away, past Vick who was being underused in her office.


“My cat's breath smells like cat food,” said Buzz from nowhere.


“Awesome,” said That Dude from L.A. Law, who was trying to fish in the police issue fish tank, but the water was boiling from the sun coming through the window. "Who wants boiled guppy?"


“What?” shouted Lassiter, who woke up from a heat nap. Juliet ate an icey pole, and sighed.


“Lassiter. Porn. For the porn battle. Do you want to, like, get in my pants and stuff?”


“Well, we should probably be cute and competitive and...” Lassiter trailed off because the forty degree heat sapped his energy, and he laid on his desk. His partner joined him, sucking on the icey pole in a loud and not-phallic-at-all way.


“Is this sexy? Do you want to try?”


“Oh,” Lassiter said, taking Juliet's icey pole. He attempted to eat it seductively, but ended up gobbling it all in a frenzy - making the desk sticky in the process (note: not in the way you think).


“Ew,” Juliet said, scrunching her nose. “Stuff it, it's too freakin' hot.”


“Yeah. True dat.”


And they sat in the squad room and occasionally complained about how hot it was.


THE END.


Awesome! It just went from 43 degrees to 42! YES.
Can some one tell me why I'm still watching Psych? Have I become the martyr, saving my beloved flist from sitting through these atrocities? Do I still, somewhere, hold out hope that the Kulchak Woman Roday the producers in general the show gets hit by the winds of change?

"Would I Lie To You" by Eurythmics just came on. Fitting, really.


Great story, piecesofalice! )



Cool!
Dearest Psych;

Hey! How are you? I know you haven't heard from me for a while, but I've been, uh, busy. Y'know. With life, and Life and other shit I'm sure you don't want to hear about. How's this weather, huh? And that local sports team?

Oh, who am I kidding. We're having problems, aren't we. Serious problems, beginning and ending mostly with James Roday. And That Kulchak Woman. And having "Lassie" in your latest episode title. And, oh, setting up awesome partner-love then softy and soundly kicking it in the pants.

You know what you should do? Have an episode where Lassiter's, like, set up for a murder. And then, like, have Juliet be all "noooes, not my partner!", complete with sternum bush and scenes at his place that end in hot sexin' hugs. Y'know, natural plot-line progression and shit.

What do you think? Let me know, because I really do like you, and want to be mates again.

With love and hope,
Your Pieces xoxox

PS: If you can fit in a roundhouse kick to Roday's noggin and/or Maggie in a roller derby costume, you know you're back in mah bed, boo.



I'd like to think this is kind of a push in the right direction, but I'd be wrong, right? )

In conclusion:



LOOK AT THAT BAD ASS MOFO, YO! LOOK AT THAT SHIT.
Three screencaps, mainly to help [livejournal.com profile] jesshelga avoid some terrible television:







There you go, folks. The latest episode of That Show That Is DEAD TO ME. I wonder how they managed to fill out forty-odd minutes with sternum bush and cute pissy attitude faces? Amazing.

Thanks, Tim Om. Your face says it all.

:|
Ever get one of those fic bunnies that will never leave you alone, until you write it in desperation on a Sunday night? RPF, completely platonic, about two TV hosts who don't really know each other and are bonded only by a love of food?

No? Oh. Uh. Here, have a fic!

TITLE: Take It Off Your Mind
FANDOM: Top Chef (Padma Lakshmi & Tom Colicchio)
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: These are real people. I do not own them, natch.

They're stuck in New York, and it's raining. )

BFFs. Totes.
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I should have done this seventy years ago, but I was - uh, watching Hannah Montana, probably. Stolen from my flist, it's the...

2008 Year in Fic Meme!
Now with added vids

Fic )

Vids )

Wasn't that fun?
Christmas present time! [livejournal.com profile] jesshelga asked for her "scrappy three-song [Goren and Eames] list" to be completed, and I complied.

Probably not with as much soppiness, but eh. It's Christmas! Note about the ~wanky~ format: with Goren and Eames, I often find the dictionary and one-word sentences sum them up the best - thus the collaboration with Merriam Webster's website. That, and I like words, yo.

Merry Christmas, J.Helg! Enjoy it, or else. Scary music plays




Everything Is Simple Now | A Modern G&E Mix )


Who else hates the dictionary and me now? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Dearest Yuletide Santa,

All I want for Christmas is something hopeful. Yeah, yeah, it's gross and soppy and ew, but all of my requests are for fandoms that I love and hold dearly to my little bosom - so happy! Bittersweet! A little like pomegranate!

I'm pretty easy, to be honest. Write something that you'll enjoy writing - put on some awesome music, look out the window and go. Suggestions for tunes? Hawksley Workman, Wang Chung, Foo Fighters, anything bad and boy-band-ish. Christmas songs! Carolers! Scratchy Robert Johnson blues and Bright Eyes for Deadwood, bitchy girl anthems and Gomez circa Bring It On for The Pretender and clappy-happy, domestic bliss love songs with a dash of The Pipettes for Psych.

I'd prefer no non-con, overt violence or purple prose, but the rest? Is up to you.

I hope I have given you enough to go on, if not, I suggest watching Yo Gabba Gabba! with a cuppa and some sort of furry animal on your lap. And I apologise if I've overwhemled you - I'm just so excited, man!

With love and Christmas cheer,
Pieces
xoxoxox
Man, I dunno what the hell this is. The last discharge before my writer's block breaks? A love song to Platonic Detective Partnerz? My clavicle fetish exposed? Whatever.

TITLE: The Collarbone Press
FANDOM: Life, Dani Reese and Charlie Crews
RATING: PG, for a bit of swearing.
DISCLAIMER: Really. Not mine, I promise.

Sometimes she forgets to breathe, and her chest seems to become heavier than she thinks she can handle. )

Tidwell's hair is greasy, y'all.
Tags:
Life, S02E06, "Did You Feel That?". In eight caps or less.


Hang On, Partner. )

Seriously, Now. )

IN CONCLUSION:

<3 PARTNERZZZ
<3 TED
<3 OMG HE'S A COP NOW
<3 PARTNERRRRZZZZZZ
I'm not entirely sure why I just sat and watched Mr. T on an infomercial for something called a FlavorWave, but I'm sure as shit going to share it with you.



"I wanna eat now!"
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I was swanning around [livejournal.com profile] fandomsecrets, and thought to myself - "why the hell are people keeping these things as secrets? What about the things that you kind of don't say, but aren't afraid of people knowing? Like, "Joey Lawrence was my first TV love?" Y'know?"

Then I ate a sandwich and watched some TV, before remembering what I'd thought earlier. So!

I'm starting a revolution. No anonymous posting, no digs at fandom types or situations - just the stuff you're not keeping a secret, but never really get around to saying. The stuff you love, the peeps you'd "hit", the OTPs that changed your life, whatever. I present:

FANDOM NOT-SECRETS


Now just as pretty and just as Photoshop-riffic as [livejournal.com profile] fandomsecrets!

01


02


Tell me yours, flisty!



Hit up "post a comment" and spill your not-so-secret guts. In graphic, random picture, Paint-tastic form - whatever.

The post is open and waiting. Get your mates to come and tell theirs, too. And their mates, and their mates...no secrets, just flisty, fandomy love. JUST LOVE.

PS: ROFLBot, for those sans graphics program/are lazy/at work/whatever. Easy!

(If I get enough, I'll make a separate post. DO IT.)
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